The ProAm (professional/amateur) competition is over! We did our 48 dances, and now we can get our lives back to normal.

During our grueling practices:

Tony the Teacher: Ok, we’re doing rounds–all the open routines non-stop.

Music starts.

The Girl and I bump into one of the other students and stop.

Tony the Teacher: No, no, you can’t stop. Start again.

Music starts.

We bump into the wall because I misjudge our line of dance in the Viennese Waltz.

Tony the Teacher: No, no, no! You can’t stop. See, if you stop you’re out.

Me: But I don’t want to hurt any of the other people on the floor.

Tony the Teacher, voice raising: If you bump into someone and you stop, you’re done, if someone bumps into you and you stop you’re done. If someone bumps into you and they stop, they’re done, if you bump into someone and they stop, they’re done also. Get it? It’s last man standing. Keep going no matter what! Don’t worry about injuring anyone else!!

The Girl with her two cents: Yeah, don’t stop.

Me, thinking: Ballroom dancing–who knew it was full combative contact? And on top of that, there’s a peanut gallery.

During the competition:

Tony the Teacher was right. It’s like a sort of civilized free-for-all out there. I had to use The Girl as a shield. She got some hard elbows in the side of the face and the back of the head, I got kicked with a heal, but did I stop? No way José.

I wasn’t stopping for anything! Not even the peanut gallery that I was dancing around with.