The Other Suspects.
Entertainment, InternetOsphere April 10th, 2008
We’ve been crazy busy running around practising our dancing for the upcoming Pro Am and working away in Workland. The Girl is jumpy with excitement that she’ll be switching careers soon and doing something that she trained for years ago, but never fully switched over to.
We saw the last part of Nicholas Nickleby on the weekend and were awed not only by its magnitude but by the way it exploded Dickens’ themes into life. Bravo to the cast, crew, and musicians who brought the show our way.
Now on to the meat of this post:
Shortly after I posted that I accepted drug money as payment, my blog became erratically glitchy. Not only did I notice this, but my readers did as well. Well actually only fragileheart mentioned to me that she did. That’s probably because she’s on the internet 24/7 commenting on everyone’s blog. Basically if you have a blog, she’s probably commented on it. And if she hasn’t don’t worry, she’ll get to it eventually. Not that there’s anything wrong with that or anything. I think it’s really cool and she does liven up my blog with her comments.
Anyway, my theory about the whole thing is that Canada’s internal security service (our version of the FBI and MI5), the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, probably got interested in the post because of the drug angle title. They don’t mount people too much these days but they do have a budget for surveillance.
Their packet sniffer is probably an old Intel 486 that they attached downstream from me. Instead of passively checking my readers out, it slowed everything down like crazy. The whole situation got me thinking though: What if my readers had something to hide from the RCMP? I’ve been trying to encourage people to comment on the blog, but what if some of those commenters on that post have things to hide?
So I did some bloggound checking on those commenters and sure enough, suspicions abound. Who actually might be the real drug users around here?
Let’s start with Erin. She (he?) seems to be hungover a lot. One hangover remedy they recommend involves vitamins that help to reduce pain: http://paintmorgantownred.com/…/sunday-hangover-cure-11/. Uh huh. Vitamins that reduce pain. Yup.
Then we have Monique who I didn’t know was a woman of colour. I thought all of the pictures on her website were underexposed. She seems angry about various things quite often. Her doctors have told her that she has tortured her body too much in the past (http://moniquerenae.com/…/im-going-to-diet/). Really…?
We have BT Cassidy who walks through dark alleys meeting people: http://theanatomy…/and-now-little-more-about-inspiration.html.
There’s Melo whose goal seems to be to make money one way or another on the internet. You know how it’s been said that money corrupts: http://www.i-tong.com/2008/03/05/money4banners/
Fonzie’s Ghost is my cockroach friend. If you’ve read my posts about him you’ll know what a good people-user he is. He’s smart but doesn’t have many morals…
Person Who Is Hormonal And Keeps Changing Their Name: They admitted that they’re almost addicted to pot.
Of course, there’s fragileheart who must have been on drugs to post this: http://www.fragileheart.com/…/its-like-a-trainwreck…/
Laney is a good friend of ours…a really good friend who now lives in Switzerland. We know her well enough to know that she’s not all that sweet and innocent as she appears in her blog. Stay away, far away — which isn’t a problem considering that she lives atop a mountain over there. Although I’ve had horse meat and found it very good, I’m still not sure how I feel about eating horses: http://whatsuphighup.blogspot.com/…/not-for-veggetarians.html
Finally, there’s Rudy whom I’ve known for a long time also. However, one of his recent posts lists a person who is most definitely a regular pot smoker. Guilt by association I say: http://www.amid.com/werd/good-people-day-2008/
So out of all of this I know that the RCMP will need to upgrade to a more powerful computer in order to track all of these other suspects. Hopefully that’ll take some of the heat and glitchiness off my site.
April 10th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Yessssss, first to comment. Ha. As if you needed more proof that what you said in your post was right. What can I say… I have a lot to say?!
I’m so glad I’ve never mentioned anything relating to the stuff… or I mean, I’ve never even touched, smelt, or seen the stuff apart from when they show it on TV and even then I wear protective goggles. Anyway, thanks so much for bringing the heat this way. I need some heat. And I’m going to stop now because I’m on a definite sugar high after eating 2 whole donuts (doughnuts?) after 4 years of not having them.
fragileheart’s last blog post..Desperately fighting the urge to write about ‘Idol gives back’
April 10th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
fragile: I’ve been curious for a while, but didn’t know how to ask you a question. Your gravatar is a picture of your back, front, or a boob? Looks like a boob to me.
April 10th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Hehe, actually it’s the ibuprofen that’s going to reduce the pain, but you’d have to have actually watched the video to see that ;p But if it helps your site run better, I’ll take the misdirection.
Erin’s last blog post..The LolCat Bible
April 10th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Erin: Sorry about that…I split my time between dial-up at home and high speed at work. It’s really frustrating for me to watch online video on dial-up. Has your site become glitchy yet?
April 10th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
No worries, it’s all good-humored
Nothing too weird yet except for some odd widget behavior. **shakes fist in a generally northward direction**
April 10th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
No morals? The moral of my story is that if you have a friend willing to touch that big-ass cockroach, let him do it. That thing seriously freaked me out. I swear it had wings and was going to fly at me. The sight of PA with carcinogenic amaranth red dripping from the corners of his mouth like some kind of stoned vampire was pretty damn funny though.
As for drugs, all I know is the one perk of migraines in the percs. (No more than 5mg of the oxy though, just enough to be comfortably numb without being dazed and confused.)
April 10th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
LOL. I knew I was being smart when I chose to stay far away from that drug-contaminated post! Too funny.
haleyhughes’s last blog post..Writing: Creating romance novel book covers
April 10th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
You kill me.
LOL.
You have to stop giving away my secret… people are not supposed to know that those are just underexposed pictures!
All right, now I must get back to being angry. Thanks for the laugh
Monique’s last blog post..This Is How You Take A Poo In New Mexico
April 10th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
let’s give the RCMP a little more fodder, shall we? since i’m american, maybe we can involve the FBI, or perhaps INTERPOL, since we are in international territory here.
HOT HOT HOT SEX, PORNO AND DRUGS!!! BIG HOT BUTTS AND BIG BOOBS!
i told you, dude, i gave up the juice years ago. i had no idea the mounties were as bad as the department of homeland security. i guess canadains have their own version of the patriot act! wow, i’m beginning to feel less homesick.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
crap, i realized i spelled “canadians” wrong. will the mounties come after me?
April 11th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Fonz: I wonder if that incident helped to drive you to your percocet addiction.
Haley: It’s Canada. Weed was almost legalized over here, so don’t worry.
Monique: You work in postal…in Texas, right? With your angst I’d definitely be worried if I were your coworker.
Person: Hey, I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you use capital letters. I can’t believe you actually know how to make them on a keyboard!
April 11th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I have to admit, I’m feeling a little deflated now. Here I thought fragileheart (I thought lower back?) only visited me – I should have suspected all along she was ‘cheating’ on me. I feel so used …
April 11th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Canuckle: If that’s a tramp stamp…well then that explains her behaviour.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
aaaahhhhhaaaaa! i love it! i love this post! the RCMP should be sitting somewheres downstream from you with their head in the sand right about now! i love how you show that all of us got something (i dont wanna say “hide” necessarily but..) juicy, if you will, to blog about or comment about and boo-whoo to the RCMP.
thanks for the colourful stint about me: i live on a mountain and eat horses! wanna come visit soon? i bet you’ll sleep with one eye open! nahhh, you’re all skin and bones and kind of old actually!
Laney’s last blog post..Relatively Speaking
April 11th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Laney: That no-horse town or yours, which used to be a one-horse town, has lots going for it. The only way I’m coming to visit on short notice, though, is if you call your neighbour, Shania Twain, and invite her as well. Otherwise we’ll see you in May when you’re over here for your visit. Or maybe I’ll contact her myself and see if I can stay over at her place. Although, she didn’t get back to me about coming over for our pig roast last year. So can you pull some strings?
April 11th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Oh geez (said like the Mom is Bobby’s World). What’s been going on around here?!
lol Canucklehead I’m sorry… *hangs head in shame* I should’ve told you. I always seem to get confused between ‘tell’ and ‘don’t tell’. Can you ever forgive me?
Peri – it’s my back. If I had boobs that big, you better believe you’d know. lol What kind of stamp does that make it now? hehe
Laney – I wanna come visit you on a mountain but does that mean I have to eat horses while I’m there?
Off topic: I just wanted to make a sentence with the security words I got: Don’t worry, I’ll give your ‘throat’ plenty of ’supply’. Hm, doesn’t work that well. Just thought it was a funny combination of words – they usually kind of make… sense.
fragileheart’s last blog post..And then I ate two doughnuts
April 11th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
fragile (and Laney who I think has one also): I must apologize for being derogatory. I did mean every word of it, but have now re-thought my choice of terminology. I think I’m going to have to use a different English dictionary.
April 11th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Hey PA, do you remember what happened after you gassed the cockroach? I have this vague image of me checking to see if it was really out by gently flicking it and accidently sending it half way across the room. That half drunk teaching assistant kept giving us looks like we were the two stupidest students he ever met. In the words of Sinatra, “when I was seventeen, it was a very good year…”
April 12th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Fonz: My memory of that day is like a bell curve with a very tight variance. At the time of the incident my memory peaks. There’s a drastic fall off before and after. Poor cockroach though. You never took those rabbit labs with me did you? I remember the one where we had to take the live, beating heart out of the rabbit in order to investigate Starling’s Law. Poor rabbit.
April 12th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Peri: the only way i’m gonna talk to the Twain woman is if i’m tied up and someone moves my mouth for me and even then, i’ll bite!! so sorry but she wont be coming to our little pijama party! but since you’re more willing to stay over at her place than ours, go ahead, i’ll take Fragileheart instead gladly. we can show off each other’s TATOOS at my pijama party, yeah, TATOOS is what they’re called but i like to call them “a higher form of expressive body art”. go check that in your dictionary. and by the way i have five! oh, and Twain better not be there in may or we’re not coming!
Fragile: love the tatoo, i also thought it was your boob and was quite jealous
anyways, you don’t have to eat anything except sweet, smooth, creamy, swiss chocolate while you’re here but i don’t think you’ll mind that 
Laney’s last blog post..Relatively Speaking
April 12th, 2008 at 8:32 am
p.s. you and fonzie’s ghost are barbaric creatures! yeah, i eat horse but i don’t take it’s live, beating heart first!! yikes!
Laney’s last blog post..Relatively Speaking
April 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Laney (and fragile): I don’t have pajamas. Can I still come to your party? We could do Shania karaoke all night. Hey, I apologized for referring to you two as tramps. I thought the term implied vagrancy rather than sexual promiscuity…
So to both of you, what do the tattoos-above-your-ass-cracks translate to in English?
April 13th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
you know, she must have written this song after she moved here, that’s the only explanation as of why she thinks real estate is so precious!!!
appology accepted and you can come to the pajama party and we can sing Shania songs but i’ll have to be allowed to keep a pukebucket under one arm.
i thought you knew what my body art meant but ok, one means “Eternal Life”, the other “Saviour”, the third “Pure/Innocent” and the other two are pretty much self explanatory- my husband’s family name’s clan sign, they’ve been around these lands since the 1400s and my family’s clan sign which don’t ask me why it is what it is, since i don’t know anything about my family’s past, but it does seem to suggest a possible Irish influx of genes way, way back?? dunno! now, did you ask that so you can make more fun of them/me??
Laney’s last blog post..Relatively Speaking
April 13th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Laney: You’ve got all of those on your back?
April 15th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
uhmpht, sorry, i misunderstood! no, i don’t, i don’t. anyways, whatever’s clever! we move on now!
Laney’s last blog post..Relatively Speaking
April 15th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Cuz if your back was wide enough to fit all of that…well then, baby you got back!