Hopefully our Swiss friend has a sense of humour…

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I’m not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

The Girl forced us to watch CSI: Miami last night. Afterwards we pondered what would happen if someone hid Horatio’s sunglasses from him.

Try the quiz yourself.

Original author unknown.

• I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
• I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
• I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
• I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
• I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
• I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.
• I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
• I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
• I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
• I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, and keep coming back.
• I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
• I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
• I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
• I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.
• I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
• I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.